Kairospl

March 23, 2020

Decisions, decisions, decisions. It seems like every time we turn around, we have to make more decisions. The question is, “Are you a good decision maker?” If you aren’t (or don’t think you are), there is no need to worry. Decision-making is a skill that can be learned by anyone. Although some people may find this particular skill easier than others, everyone applies a similar process.

There are two basic kinds of decisions: those that are arrived at using a specific process and those that just happen. Although both kinds of decisions contain opportunities and learning experiences, there are definite advantages to using a specific process to make a decision. The most obvious advantage is the reduced level of stress you will experience.

Wise decisions are decisions that are made using a definite process. They are based on the values and perceptions of the decision-maker and include carefully considered alternatives and options along with periodic reassessments of the decision and its effects. Wise decisions may or may not follow societal norms and expectations. However, they are right for the decider based on what she knows at that point in time about both her options as well as herself.

Ten Steps to Wise Decision-Making

This process can be applied to any situation where you need to make an important decision. If you follow these ten basic steps, you will find yourself making wiser decisions, both in your professional as well as your personal life. 

• Define, as specifically as possible, what the decision is that needs to be made. Is this really your decision or someone else’s? Do you really need to make a decision? (If you do not have at least two options, there is no decision to be made.) When does the decision need to be made? Why is this decision important to you? Who will be affected by this decision? What values does this decision involve for you?
• Write down as many alternatives as you can think of. Brainstorm as many different alternatives as you can imagine. Let your imagination run free and try not to censure anything. This is not the time to be judgmental. Just be sure to write everything down.
• Think where you could find more information about possible alternatives. If you only come up with a few alternatives, you may want to get more information. Additional information generally leads to more alternatives. Places where you can look for the information you need include friends, family, clergy, co-workers, state and federal agencies, professional organizations, online services, newspapers, magazines, books, and so on.
• Check out your alternatives. Once you have a list of alternatives, use the same sources of information to find out more about the specifics of each option. You will find that the more information you gather, the more ideas will pop into your head. Be sure to write these down and check them out too.
• Sort through all of your alternatives. Now that you have your list of alternatives, it is time to begin evaluating them to see which one works for you. First, write down the values that would come into play for each alternative. Second, look for the alternatives which would allow you to use the greatest number of your values. Third, cross the alternatives off the list which do not fit into your personal value framework.
• Visualize the outcomes of each alternative. For each remaining alternative on your list, picture what the outcome of that alternative will look like. Here, too, it helps if you write out your impressions.
• Do a reality check. Which of your remaining alternatives are most likely to happen? Cross off those alternatives that most likely will not happen to you.
• Which alternative “fits” you? Review your remaining alternatives and decide which ones feel most comfortable to you. These are your wise decisions. If you are very happy about a decision, but are not as comfortable with its possible outcome, this is a clue that this is not a wise decision for you. On the other hand, you may dislike an alternative, but be very excited about the possible outcome. This decision would probably not be wise for you either. If you feel you can live with both the alternative as well as the possible outcome, this is the wise decision you should follow.
• Get started! Once you have made your decision, get moving on it. Worrying or second-guessing yourself will only cause you grief. You have done your very best for the present. You always have the option of changing your mind in the future if you want to. Remember, no decision is set in stone.
• How is it going? Be sure to review your decision at specified points along the road. Are the outcomes what you expected? Are you happy with the outcomes? Do you want to let the decision stand or would you like to make some adjustments? If the decision did not come out the way you planned, go through the complete decision-making process again. In the process, answer the following questions. Did I not have enough information? What values actually came into play? Were they my values or someone else’s? Remember, you can always change your mind!

 Common Decision-Making Mistakes

As much as we would like to believe that we do not have any prejudices or biases, the fact is that everyone does. The more aware you are of yours, the better off you will be. The main reason everyone has their own way of viewing the world is because our brains simply cannot take in everything, at least not on a conscious level.

Have you ever tried to learn ten new things all at once? If you have, you know that it is very easy to become overwhelmed and to end up learning very little at all. That is because of the way the brain works. Our brains screen and categorize information so that we can understand the world around us without being overwhelmed by it. We get into trouble when we fail to realize that many of the perceptions we hold are based on what society (i.e., parents, teachers, the church, all institutions, etc.) teach us, not what we actually know to be true.

Below is a list of the most common decision-making mistakes. By learning about these pitfalls now, you will be able to avoid them in the future. 

• Relying too much on “expert” information. Oftentimes, people have a tendency to place too much emphasis on what “experts” say. Remember, experts are only human and have their own set of biases and prejudices just like the rest of us. By seeking information from a lot of different sources, you will get much better information than you would if you focused all of your energy on only one source.
• Overestimating the value of information received from others. People have a tendency to overestimate the value of certain individuals in our society and underestimate the value of others. For instance, experts, authority figures, parents, high status groups, people who seem to have it all together, and people we respect have a way of swaying our opinion based simply on the fact that we believe they know more than we do. When you find yourself doing this, ask yourself: Do they know as much about this problem as I do? Are their values the same as mine? Have they had any personal experiences with a problem like mine? In other words, keep their opinions in perspective.
• Underestimating the value of information received from others. Whether we realize it or not, we also have a tendency to discount information we receive from individuals such as children, low status groups, women (yes, believe it!), the elderly, homemakers, blue-collar workers, artists, etc. This is unfortunate since a lot of times these groups can paint a good picture of the “other side” of your problem. In other words, these groups may use entirely different values and perceptions in their answers to your questions. The result is a bigger picture perspective of what the issues really are. Just make a note that if you find yourself discounting the information you receive from anyone, make sure you ask yourself “why“.
• Only hearing what you want to hear or seeing what you want to see. Try this exercise. Ask a friend to look around them and make note of everything that is green. Now, have them close their eyes. Once their eyes are closed, ask them to tell you what around them is red. Almost everyone you ask will not be able to tell you what was red because they were focusing on what was green. Our perceptions work the same way. If we have expectations or biases that we are not aware of, we tend to see what we want to see. Likewise, if someone tries to tell us something we do not want to hear, we simply do not hear them. This is a common mistake that many people make. The key is to be aware of your own prejudices and expectations while at the same time staying open to everything that comes your way.
• Not listening to your feelings or gut reactions. Have you ever made a decision only to have it be followed by a major stomach ache or headache? This is your body talking to you. Our brains are constantly taking in more information than we can consciously process. All of this extra information gets buried in our subconscious. Although we may not be able to retrieve this information, our body stores it for us until it is needed. In moments when we need to make a decision, our bodies provide clues to the answer through feelings or gut reactions. Unfortunately, our society teaches us to ignore these feelings. But by tuning into your intuition, you will find that you will make much better decisions in the long run.

 (Source: Bacal & Associates)

GOOD NEWS: KAIROS PERFORMANCE LEARNING is hosting a public workshop on “Managing & Making Decisions to be held from April 28-29, 2010 at the G-Hotel in Penang, Malaysia. (Please see the brochure on the website). Seize the early bird workshop offer before March 28, 2010.

March 01, 2010

We make choices daily, whether in our work or in our personal life. With overloaded information in our high-tech world, we are overwhelmed and cannot make decisions. The condition is analysis paralysis. Depending on our personality, some of us are prone to analysis paralysis when making a decision. Below is an article by Andrew Cox on how to overcome analysis paralysis.

One of the biggest challenges leaders have is to ensure that preparation and analysis add real value and provide the framework for action. The biggest enemy to action is analysis paralysis.

One of the most difficult habits to break is the habit of continuing to create and analyze choices long after decisive action should have taken place. Analysis paralysis is the graveyard of many organizations and careers. It’s procrastination – on both the organizational and individual level – caused by fear of failure, fear of consequences, fear of not being thorough, fear of making a mistake.

Analysis paralysis results in too many choices. Too many choices drag down the energy, the time and the effort of all those who are part of the issue.

Here are ten ways leaders have ensured they and their organizations don’t fall victim to analysis paralysis.

1 – Define success as the result of a cumulative process – built on a cycle of action, evaluation, improvement – then action, evaluation, improvement. Nothing creates fear – and analysis paralysis – quicker than to be told that whatever decision is made will result in failure or success – with no other possible outcomes. Creating a either/or success or failure situation will almost certainly result in careful – read lengthy – analysis and preparation. Define ideal outcomes and solutions and use them as guidelines in setting goals – just don’t let the deal be the only acceptable solution.

2 – The best course of action in the vast majority of situations is the one that “meets requirements.” Save the “best possible” course of action for the relatively few high value, high impact decisions.

3 -Impose constraints – money, time, resources – that keep the focus on action, not on preparation and analysis

4 – Set up a ready, fire, aim behavior. Insist on enough information to act with a reasonable degree of confidence in the decision, and establish a measuring mechanism to allow for changes as they become apparent.

5 – Realize that simplicity and limited choices can be very liberating – they create a structure that allows for action, rather than a constant evaluation of ever increasing alternatives. Complexity is the partner of analysis paralysis.

6 – Value attitudes that place a premium on information – but information as a means to act not as an end in itself.

7 – Insist on action at every step. Direction and priorities are created through goal setting. Accomplishment is the benchmark of success – not activity.

8 – Accept that mistakes are part of improvement. The biggest enemy of innovation and development is often the fear of making a mistake – or of being blamed for a mistake. A problem solving climate accepts mistakes as part of the process of improvement. It punishes non risk taking behavior, as well as behavior to cover up mistakes.”If you’re not making mistakes you’re not accomplishing anything” is a belief in problem solving organizations.

9 – Adopt a “Principle of Good Enough ” (POGE) attitude toward action. Software developers use POGE to act – knowing that the only way to implement and improve is to throw the switch – go live – measure the results and improve – and then do it all over again. Adjustments based on the results of action are an accepted part of the process – not an indication of failure.

10 – Keep progress reviews simple and frequent and highly structured. It’s amazing how even the most worthy goal can become hostage to analysis paralysis – if it’s left unattended by people in a position to see the bigger picture. Make course corrections a routine part of the process – an accepted and vital part of meeting goals. A question that should be asked in every progress review should be “What course corrections do we have to make to meet this goal?

Take an inventory – of yourself and of your organization. Ask yourself if the conditions for analysis paralysis exist – or if analysis paralysis is already hard at work confusing activity with accomplishment. Then use the suggestions from the leaders who contributed to this article to increase your personal and organizational competitive advantage.

If you need to hone your decision making skills, why not attend the Managing and Making Decisions Workshop from April 28-29, 2010? You can download the brochure from this website.

November 27, 2009

The ability to influence and motivate others depends on our skills of building relationships with others. Some leaders are too focused on acheiving results that they forgot about rleationship building. The article below by Alan Henderson describes the need to master the art of building relationships.

IMAGINE SITTING ON a beach on a wind-less day, building a pile of dry sand. Once the pile has reached pyramidal proportions, the next handful of sand you put on top runs down its sides. You can’t build higher until the base is broader. The same applies to our relationships with one another. Relationships – knowing what one stands for, having the freedom to communicate concerns, and being clear about what one can count on others for-are the foundation of all innovations, productivity, and breakthroughs.

Yet few managers are skilled at building relationships. Their efforts have more to do with personality and style than with deliberate action. This may be sufficient for a one-time sale of an inexpensive item, but as the job gets bigger the need for mastery in relationship building increases.

Tandem Computers deals in installations costing up to US$10 million. A salesperson needs only one or two sales a year to achieve his target, but it typically takes six months to a year to close a deal. The relationship here needs to be a partnership instead of the usual vendor-client hookup.

“Where companies are buying ‘bet-the-business’ applications,” says Tarny Perkins, Tandem’s area director of sales and marketing in Hong Kong, “the person on the vendor side needs to be seen as ready to risk his career for the client’s success.”

How to create such an extraordinary relationship?  Here are some steps:

Learn to recognize when the foundations of a relationship are insufficient.  If your products or services are perfect for the client’s needs but he still won’t buy, it may be a sign that you’ve not yet established enough common ground.

Express yourself.  Let your customer know how you can be counted on. Show your hand.  Excessive caution can pre-vent the development of a partnership.

Invest in your team. Too often we think breakthroughs-unprecedented, unpredictable, positive events-take place on a knowledge or technical base.  Possibly, it is the relationships between team members that allow for breakthroughs.

Listen.  The other person is expressing himself the best way he knows how.  Pay attention.

Make promises, and keep them. Trust builds with the keeping of small commitments.

When negotiating, consider conceding freely some points you don’t really care about. The best and longest-lasting agreements are achieved between partners, not adversaries.

Respect the other’s freedom of choice. Everyone hates the hard sell, being told what to do or, for that matter (let’s be honest), being managed.

Be patient. Today’s results take place on a foundation that took years to build.  Work now to create the relationship you want in the long term.

 Many managers fail because they are strong at establishing relationships but weak at nurturing them.  The wisest executives recognize that giving even lavish attention to an existing relationship is not a luxury. It is a much less expensive and time-consuming process than developing a new relationship.

August 18, 2009

As from this week, I am discontinuing “Thought For The Day”. Instead I shall include valuable quotes in “Manager’s Toolbox”. “Leadership by Stories” will be changed to a new category “Leading From Good To Great”. Today is the last article under “Leadership by Stories” category. These changes are improvements made to this blog. Thanks for your support in visiting this blog.

Cheok Kau Khoo

“In business and personal life, to create true integrity and lasting effectiveness you need to develop the courage to move towards the sound of the gunfire.”

– Dr. Martin Groder

A senior executive was in pain and turmoil. His marriage had ended badly and he was estranged from his son. He realized that he had sacrificed his family on the altar of business success, thinking he was actually doing it out of a spirit of service and love. It had brought him to depression and grief.

He said, “It is too late for my marriage. But I want a relationship with my son. He is the most important part of my life and yet he will barely talk with me. I think he hates me.”

I asked, “Have you told him how you feel? Have you reached out to him?” This powerful and influential man said, “I am afraid. I am afraid of what he would say. I guess I’m afraid of his rejection and of looking weak in his eyes.”

Then he put his head in his heads.

He had to make a choice, to find the courage to risk connecting with his son or to live with fear and regret. He asked, “How do I find the nerve? This feels too hard.”

I responded, “You choose the path of heart, you choose what matters most. Is it protecting your ego or connecting with your son?”

He found the courage to invite his son on walking excursions, and then listened as the boy expressed his feelings and thoughts. He began to tell his son how much regret he had about not being there at critical times, and then of his love.

Slowly, the relationship grew. As a result, his son that had been lost to him was, as he had hoped, reclaimed. What surprised him and was an unlooked for bonus was that his business became more vibrant as the new level of personal courage he had developed led to more effective and honest communications at work. This led to a dramatic increase in the learning and performance of those around him.

As a CEO and practicing organizational development consultant, I hear more and more executives discussing their concerns over ethics and values or expressing the need to speed up learning and bottom-line implementation across their organizations.

These themes are intimately connected. The ability to truly make ethics and values operational at work, while increasing learning and speed of implementation, are dependent on a more whole-hearted approach to living and leading.

The most critical component of success in the whole-hearted framework is the presence or absence of courage. Without it, success is not possible, leadership will not exist, and personal satisfaction is extinguished.

The bottom line: where your courage stops is where your leadership stops. Why is this so?

Courage is the key to accessing, developing and engaging three of the great drivers of leadership effectiveness: integrity, passion and intimacy. Why is courage the key to bringing life to professed values and principles, to learning more quickly from mistakes, to more effective implementation?

All of them require stepping beyond our personality, ego structure and habitual patterns.

It takes courage to face our fears, doubts and to then act. It is the exercise of courage that moves us into more honest, direct feedback and more productive relationships.

It is natural to want to do what is easy, practiced, habitual and polished. It is natural to follow the path of least resistance. Yet, to lead with integrity, to learn quickly, to generate and transmit learning, and to implement effectively requires moving through the pain, uncertainty and discomfort of changing our thinking and behavior.

First we must be willing to go through our own resistance, pain and discomfort and then, having the integrity of modeling what we want, encouraging and helping others to move through theirs.

This is swimming upstream. It means moving toward the sound of the gunfire, not away from it. Without courage, we take the easier path.

While you might hold and believe core principles and values and want to be more effective, you will not live them without accessing more personal courage.

It requires staying conscious of what you most want, being aware of any ways your behaviors or ways of thinking prevent you from reaching it.

It requires choosing what you most want in spite of doubts and fears and then respectfully challenging those around you. You develop yourself as a wholehearted leader day-by-day through the choices you make.

Source: Robert “Dusty” Staub is a nationally known author, currently with two books in print, and the founder and CEO of Staub Leadership Consultants. He facilitates leadership development programs for individuals and organizations and is based in Greensboro.

July 30, 2009

“Grasp no more than thy hand will hold.”

-       English Proverb

Why not attend the Principle of Persuasion Workshop to acquire the skills of ethical persuasion and influence to enable you to have the competitive edge? For details, please click the left side bar to listen to Professor Robert Cialdini and also to read brochure for “The Principles of Persuasion” Workshop. You may be losing an opportunity to be effective in your career and workplace if you ignore it. To bring the Principles Of Persuasion Workshop to your organization, kindly, contact ckkhoo@kairospl.com

June 22, 2009

Lessons From The Processionary Caterpillars

A well known naturalist by the name of Jean Henri Fabre studied a type of caterpillars called the processionary caterpillars. These furry creatures possess the instinct to follow in lock step the caterpillar in front of it. This behavior gives the caterpillar its name, but a deadly characteristic too.

In a simple experiment, Fabre took a flower pot and placed a number of caterpillars in single file around the circumference of the pot’s rim. Each caterpillar’s head touched the caterpillar in front of it. He then placed the caterpillars’ favourite food in the middle of the circle created by the caterpillars’ procession around the rim of the flowerpot. Each caterpillar followed the one ahead thinking that it was heading for the food. Round and round went those silly furry creatures for seven days. Soon after a week of this mindless activity, the caterpillars started to drop dead because of exhaustion and starvation. They could have avoided death by stopping the senseless circling of the flower pot and head directly for the food which was less than six inches away from those ever-circling crawlers. However, the processionary caterpillars were locked into this lifestyle and could not get out of this mindless behavior.

Lesson Learned

Unlike animals, we have the capacity to reason, to plan and to adapt. We are therefore unique among the animals of the world. The tragedy is that we often resemble unthinking, lower forms of life.

Human beings are different from caterpillars.  We alone have the ability to change our direction in life.  We often confuse motion with meaning and activity with achievement.  We can all too readily get into ruts, which cause us to dysfunction at work, school, or home.  The ruts can become vicious circles, which don’t get us any further than the processionary caterpillar gets on the flowerpot.  Then we find ourselves resembling the processionary caterpillar more than we would first think or want. 

Applications from the Lesson learned

If you fear that you share some of the style of the processionary caterpillar, here are three things you can do so that you can breakout of that senseless circle.

1.    Use a different route to work, school or shopping. As you go a different way to work, look at the sights.  You will discover an entire world out there that you might not have ever seen.  After you are comfortable about changing your driving routine, dare to do other things differently.

2.    Be adventuresome about your approach to life.  Try some new taste of food. Go to a music concert or movie that isn’t your normal fare.  Dare to be different.  The worst that could happen is that you will learn to appreciate your tried and true choice more.  The best thing that could happen would be that you would have expanded your horizons.

3.    Take the first tentative steps to breaking away from your processionary humdrum of life.  Try really living.  Don’t confuse vegetating with vitality.  Set professional or educational goals for the next five years.  It looks safer to stay in the routinized ruts of life, but the processionary caterpillars show us that it doesn’t really get us anywhere.  Movement isn’t necessarily meaningful.  We are human.  We possess an intelligence that enables us to be different from all the lower forms of life.  Be all you can be by learning from the pitiful processionary caterpillar.

Cheok Kau Khoo is the Principal Trainer/Consultant for Kairos Performance Learning with working experience in education, manufacturing and service industries. He had been personally trained by Dr. Robert Cialdini who is the most cited expert in the Principles of Persuasion. He is certified in numerous training programs and is listed in the International Who’s Who of Professionals.

To know more about the Principles of Persuasion, kindly click on the introductory video clip by Professor Cialdini and the flyer on the left side bar. To have an in-house workshop, please contact: ckkhoo@kairospl.com or call: 6012-4019398 for a presentation. Do not let this opportunity pass as you join other world class companies to getting “Yes!” most of the time.

June 01, 2009

Ben Carson vividly remembers a playground conversation during which his fifth grade schoolmates selected him as the dumbest kid in their grade. In fact, after some debate, his classmates decided he was probably the dumbest kid in the world. Looking back from his vantage point as a world-renowned neurosurgeon, Dr. Carson can laugh at the memory. However, had he not been empowered as a young student, Ben Carson may never have shaken the belief that he was stupid.

 

Leaders Empower Others by Believing in Their Potential

Ben’s mother, Sonya Copeland, chose to marry at the age of 13 to escape an untenable family situation. The marriage eventually unraveled, leaving Sonya alone in raising her two sons: Ben and Curtis. Sonya noticed her boys were lagging behind academically, but she was convinced they had the potential to excel in school.

 

Leaders Empower Others by Teaching Them the Skills Needed to Succeed

In an effort to focus her sons on their studies, Sonya curtailed their television time, ordered them to read two books per week, and made them submit book reports to her. After receiving the reports, she would mark them with red ink and discuss the reports with the boys. Ben had no idea that his mother was illiterate and that she only marked up the papers to give the appearance of having read them.

Through time, Ben’s steady diet of books paid off. Thanks to his newfound study skills and increased reading comprehension, Ben’s grades improved, and perhaps more importantly his self-esteem was repaired. By the time he graduated, Ben had reached the top of his class, had received a full scholarship to Yale, and had been voted “Most Likely to Succeed” by his classmates.

 

Leaders Empower Others by Prodding Them to Take Risks

After graduating from Yale University and attaining his graduate degree at the University of Michigan, Dr. Ben Carson quickly won acclaim for his skill as a surgeon. By age 33, he became the youngest ever director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital.

In subsequent years, Dr. Carson empowered fellow surgeons to take risks by accepting seemingly hopeless cases. He resurrected an abandoned surgical practice of removing a hemisphere of the brain to alleviate a patient’s chronic seizures. Later, he pioneered methods to operate on brain stem tumors, and he became the first doctor to perform brain surgery on a fetus inside the womb. Most famously, he successfully separated conjoined twins in 1997. All in all, his courage led to empowering advancements throughout the field of neurosurgery.

 

Leaders Empower Others by Recognizing Their Successes

As a parent, Dr. Carson was troubled by the disparity he witnessed between the profuse accolades given to sports stars, and the near-neglect of top academic performers. In an effort to celebrate the achievements of scholars, Dr. Carson launched a non-profit organization-the Carson Scholars Fund. Each year, the fund awards nearly 600 scholarships to high school students who have excelled in the classroom and community. By honoring the dedication of students, the Carson Scholars Fund empowers kids to work just as hard on their studies as they do at their sports.

 

Summary

Had Sonya Copeland not taken the initiative to empower her son in his studies, who knows what Ben Carson’s life might have looked like? Thanks to her empowerment, Ben developed into one of the world’s foremost surgeons, and his life has added tremendous contributions to the medical community.

As a leader, your decisions to empower, or not to empower, your people have a direct impact on the future trajectory of their lives. Don’t be stingy with your investments in your team. By affirming their potential, broadening their skills, pushing them to accept risk, and celebrating their successes, you’ll propel them into stunning accomplishments.

ABOUT

Reference:
“Benjamin Solomon Carson Biography.” The Encyclopedia of World Biography. Online Webpage. Advameg, Inc. 2007. 16 May 2009.

 

 

To know more about the Principles of Persuasion, kindly click on the introductory video clip by Professor Cialdini and the flyer on the left side bar. To have an in-house workshop, please contact: ckkhoo@kairospl.com or call: 6012-4019398 for a presentation. Do not let this opportunity pass you buy as you need to use your influence and persuasion skills in this gloomy economic time.

May 04, 2009

Two geese and turtle were very close friends. As the nights became shorter and cooler, the two geese decided to fly south for the winter. However, they did not want to leave their turtle friend behind. They were wondering what to do with their turtle friend – the turtle cannot fly like them and to walk south for the winter is impossible because of the long distance. The turtle said to the two geese: “I have an idea. Why don’t we find a stick that the two of you can hold in your mouths and I will hold on to the middle of the stick with my powerful stick? Then we can fly together to the south for winter.”

Showing concern for the turtle, one goose asked if the turtle was strong enough to hang for a long time on the stick. The turtle replied, “Sure, I’m very strong”.

Several weeks later while flying over a farm, they were spotted by a farmer who was most impressed with what he saw. He quickly called his wife to watch this incredible sight. There were the two geese flying overhead with a stick in their mouths and a turtle hanging in between them. The farmer’s wife shouted, “What an incredible idea! Who thought of that?”

The turtle could not resist and shouted, “I did”, and the turtle fell down from the sky.

Leadership Lesson:

PRIDE is a five-letter word with “I” in the middle. This story reminds us of the proverb: pride goes before a fall. Many leaders fall because of pride. They became self-centred and self-exalted. We see this in companies where leaders after holding high positions became arrogant to others. Pride says, “I did it”. True humility says, “I did it by the grace of God.” The great American printer, writer, scientist and statesman, Benjamin Franklin made a chart of 12 virtues that he would try to perfect, such as industry and frugality. Each week he proudly showed off his progress to the other members of his self-improvement club. One member, noting Franklin’s too-evident pride, “kindly” informed him that he had left off a virtue that he would do well to practice: humility.

CS Lewis has this to say about pride:

The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. Two of a trade never agree. Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive – is competitive by its very nature- while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.

Cheok Kau Khoo

Cheok Kau Khoo is the Principal Trainer/Consultant for Kairos Performance Learning with working experience in education, manufacturing and service industries. He had been personally trained by Dr. Robert Cialdini who is the most cited expert in the Principles of Persuasion. He is certified in numerous training programs and is listed in the International Who’s Who of Professionals.

To know more about the Principles of Persuasion, kindly click on the introductory video clip by Professor Cialdini and the flyer on the left side bar. To have an in-house workshop, please contact: ckkhoo@kairospl.com or call: 6012-4019398 for a presentation. Do not let this opportunity pass as you join other world class companies to getting “Yes!” most of the time.

April 15, 2009

There was one company which manufactured combs and it intended to expand its business. The management decided to employ a new Sales Manager.

The company advertised the vacancy in the newspaper. They were so many applicants who turned up for the interview everyday in just a few days.

The company was in a dilemma to select the right candidate for the position of Sales Manager. As a result, the company’s interviewer assigned a difficult task for the applicants who came for the final interview.

The task was to sell combs to monks in the temples.

Only 3 Applicants were shortlisted for the final interview – Mr. A, Mr. B and Mr. C.

To these 3 final interviewees, the interviewer instructed: “Now I want three of you here to sell these wooden combs to the monks in the temples. You only have 10 days to do it and report to me after that.”

After 10 days, they came back to report to the company.

The interviewer asked Mr. A: “How many combs have you sold?”

Mr. A answered: “Only one.”

The interviewer asked again: “How did you manage to sell the one comb?”

Mr. A Answered: “The monks in the temples scolded me when I showed them the comb. But on my way back downhill, I met a young monk who bought it to scratch his head due to dandruff”.

The interviewer then asked Mr. B: “And how many did you sell?”

Mr. B replied: “10 pieces. I went to a shrine and noticed many devotees’ hair were ruffled due to the strong wind outside the shrine. The monk in there listened to my advice and bought 10 combs for their devotees.

Then, The Chief Interviewer asked Mr. C: “How about you?”

Mr. C replied: “1,000 units.”

The interviewer and the other 2 interviewees were astounded.

Excited, the interviewer asked: “How did you accomplish that?”

Mr. C replied: “I went to a famous temple. After making observations for a few days I discovered that there were many tourists. I then told the Chief Abbot there that the tourists who came are fervent devotees. If you could give them a gift, they would be elated. I told him that I had a bulk of combs here and asked him to craft some writings on the combs as gifts for the visitors. He was very delighted and straight away ordered 1,000 pieces.”

Leadership Lesson:

A leader’s attitude is the primary force that will determine whether he succeeds or fails. John C. Maxwell related the story about the former Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir who underlined this truth in one of her interviews. She said, “All my country has is spirit. We don’t’ have petroleum dollars. We don’t have mines or great wealth on the ground. We don’t have the support of worldwide public opinion that looks favorably on us. All Israel has is the spirit of its people. And if the people lose their spirit, even the United States of America cannot save us.”

Cheok Kau Khoo

Cheok Kau Khoo is the Principal Trainer/Consultant for Kairos Performance Learning with working experience in education, manufacturing and service industries. He had been personally trained by Dr. Robert Cialdini who is the most cited expert in the Principles of Persuasion. He is certified in numerous training programs and is listed in the International Who’s Who of Professionals. He can be contacted at: ckkhoo@kairospl.com.

To know more about the Principles of Persuasion, kindly click on the introductory video clip by Professor Cialdini and the flyer on the left side bar. To have an in-house workshop, please contact: ckkhoo@kairospl.com or call: +6012-4019398 for a presentation. Do not let this opportunity pass you by as you need to use your influence and persuasion skills in this gloomy economic time.

The Righteous Old Woman

March 25, 2009

An old woman got up early to prepare breakfast – two cups of coffee and two bowls of cereals. She then called her husband to eat breakfast. As her husband just sat down on the chair, this lady began to scold her neighbor whose house was covered with spider webs and mud. She began to brag of how well she kept her house clean compared with her neighbour’s house. Her husband listened patiently.

The next morning, the old woman got up in the morning again to prepare breakfast for her husband. She made two cups of coffee and 2 bowls of cereals as usual. As her husband sat down and looked out the window, she began to grumble at her neighbour’s clothes hanging outside. The clothes looked gray and dirty and she wondered how her neighbor washed those clothes compared to her clean white clothes. It was sickening to the ears of her husband. So, he went outside to have his coffee, still being able to hearing the audible scolding of her wife.

The third morning, the woman made the usual two cups of coffee and two bowls of cereals. This time the husband plugged his ears to avoid hearing his wife scolding the neighbor. Yet he could still hear her, scolding the neighbour’s dirty children whose hairs were covered with cobwebs and cheeks with the bird’s poop. “How come the neighbour did not wash their children properly”, she thundered.

This scolding went on every morning – dirty house, dirty clothes and dirty children.

One morning, the husband sat at the table for his breakfast with the usual cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal. The scolding of the neighbor went on as usual and as the old woman sat down, lo and behold, her neighbour’s house was transformed – it was freshly painted. The clothes hung outside to dry were brilliantly white and the children looked so clean. She exclaimed that her prayers were answered.

Her husband then in a soft voice told her that last night after she went to bed, he went outside and washed their outside window!

Leadership Lesson:

It is always easy and quick to judge others for their mistakes and failures when we ourselves are the problem. Leaders must not be quick to look for the “dirt” in others. Instead they must look for the “gold” in others. Leaders must walk the talk. We have seen leaders who have labeled others as corrupt and incompetent when they themselves are the same. Leaders have to clean their “windows” first before condemning other people’s windows as dirty. There is a great need for leaders to examine their own lives and listen to the inner voice in their inner lives. This is the way to leadership greatness.

Cheok Kau Khoo

Cheok Kau Khoo is the Principal Trainer/Consultant for Kairos Performance Learning with working experience in education, manufacturing and service industries. He had been personally trained by Dr. Robert Cialdini who is the most cited expert in the Principles of Persuasion. He is certified in numerous training programs and is listed in the International Who’s Who of Professionals. He can be contacted at: ckkhoo@kairospl.com.

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