Kairospl

August 17, 2010

This is Part 2 of the article on Coaching 101:

Why Does the Tool Work?

We hope that it is becoming more clear what exactly coaching is. But what makes it a good management tool, and why is it needed to meet the goals of developing employees? The answer, in short, is because coaching focuses on Awareness and Action, which are the two key tenets in Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence has quickly become recognized as one of the most important indicators of how successful someone will be in business and in life. Emotional Intelligence is awareness of one’s thoughts and feelings as well as those of others so that one can take the appropriate actions to manage oneself in a way that gets the most out of every interaction. Said more simply, Emotional Intelligence is knowing and managing your own buttons and triggers, as well as knowing and managing how you push the buttons of others. Awareness and Action are the building blocks of emotional intelligence—being aware and taking the most appropriate action to meet the goal.

Because of the word “emotional” in the term Emotional Intelligence, many managers want to write it off, saying, “This is the workplace, check your emotions at the door.” But here’s the newsflash—research has shown that the concept of checking one’s emotions at the door is impossible and that the best and most successful employees learn how to recognize, manage, and harness the power of the emotions that drive them. To do this, employees must be aware of what’s going on inside themselves, and then take the appropriate action to manage it.

Awareness, therefore, is key, because without it the likelihood of taking the most effective action is slim. Think of a dashboard in a car. All of the dials and digits exist to give you a certain amount of awareness of what is happening with the car. The gas gauge, as one example, keeps you aware of how much gas is in the tank. If you weren’t aware that the car was getting low on gas, why would you take action and put more gas in it? If we are not aware of the impact of our actions, thoughts, and feelings, then we have no reason to take action and start behaving any differently. As individuals, we spend most of our time in a reactive state. We do things and react to situations often without actually realizing why it is that we are behaving in a certain way or doing a certain thing. When we are aware of what is going on, and can see it clearly, we realize that we have a choice in how we respond.

Take Jed, for example. Jed knows how to give effective feedback. He knows how important feedback is to continuous improvement and will often talk about needing to “give so-and-so feedback.” However, it’s also important to Jed to have a tight team—one that functions well, gets along, and is seen in the company as the “team to want to be.” As a result, Jed will often delay in giving feedback because he doesn’t want to upset the dynamics of the team, and many times, Jed “forgets” to give the feedback until it is “too late,” in his opinion. This lack of feedback actually negatively affects the team because it is not getting all the information it needs to move forward. If Jed is like most people, chances are he doesn’t even see the connection between these two things, because we are often too close to our own “stuff” to see it clearly. If Jed isn’t aware that this is going on, then how can he choose to do something differently? If his manager says, “Jed, you need to get better at giving feedback,” Jed will probably think, “I give feedback just fine—when I talk to people they understand what it is that they need to do differently.” As a result, he would not choose to do anything differently.

Suppose, through a coaching conversation, Jed becomes aware that one of the things that gets in his way of giving feedback is his desire to have a strong team dynamic. He can then explore why not giving the feedback actually hinders the team and he can choose a different strategy for giving feedback in a timely manner, perhaps by building in a specific time for feedback during his weekly one-on-ones with all of his direct reports, which would actually enhance the team’s performance.

We are willing to venture that 9 times out of 10, when an employee is having an issue at work in which he is not being as productive as possible, it is not because he does not possess the specific skill set to get the job done. Most people know how to do their work, it’s just that they let their Attitude get in the way of their performance.

Think back to the lists that you made earlier in this chapter. How many of the things that people struggle with at work involve lack of skill t o do the job at hand ? Really, not that many when you stop and think about it. Most of the time, it’s their Attitude that needs improvement. To change this, they need to be made aware of what’s going on so that they can then choose to take action to correct it. Awareness is the key to producing different, more productive actions. Coaching not only helps an employee discover for himself the things that are in his way, but it also leads him to action, which is essential.

Awareness for awareness’s sake can be nice in life, but in the world of business, the key is action and effectiveness. Coaching ensures that an individual will really take some action once he has become aware of a situation, which is vital if things are ever going to be different.

Many times at this point, managers will say, “Yeah, but it’s just easier to tell the employee how to do it differently—I don’t have time for helping build awareness.” We all want a quick solution, but people need to discover for themselves if they are actually going to implement change. You can tell someone what to do, but in the long run, unless you are developing the person’s self-awareness and self-management, you are going to keep finding yourself in the same situation explaining the same things and then banging your head against the same wall. As we said in the first chapter, the question is not, “Why should I waste my time coaching?” It is, “How can I not waste my time?” The answer is through coaching.

July 28, 2010

This is Part 1 of an article well written by Brian Emerson and Anne Loehr. You will definitely benefit from this article.

A good manager must master the use of a number of different tools and know when each is appropriate and when it is not. Coaching is just one of these skills. We don’t want to give the impression that if a manager spends all of his time coaching, life will be dandy. Nothing could be further from the truth. An effective manager needs to know how and when to use the tool of coaching and when to pick another, more appropriate tool. There is an old adage that says, “When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

We are the first to admit that coaching is not the only, or necessarily the best, management tool. However, when used appropriately in the right situation, coaching is a sure fire way of developing and managing the people who report to you.

What Is the Tool of Coaching?

As we said, coaching is not the end-all-and-be-all of management tools. Employees need coaching when they are experiencing problems with the Attitude (motivation, confidence, energy, focus, determination) component of the Success Equation. Good indicators of a coaching situation are things like:

• when a person is experiencing trouble completing a job that he should already know how to do (i.e., there is no Aptitude issue), 
• when a person has gotten himself completely wrapped around the axle about a certain situation, or
• when a person needs help dealing with the frustration he experiences because they do not have the resources needed to complete the task at hand.

As humans, when we are in these situations, it is natural to need help getting ourselves out of the weeds. We need someone or something to help get us to a place where we can see things clearly and make solid decisions from a position of effectiveness and empowerment instead of a place where we are completely hung up and not seeing straight. That’s where coaching comes in. Managers should use coaching as a tool when an employee has the skills and ability to do the specific task, but for some reason they are struggling with the confidence, focus, motivation, drive, or bandwidth to deal with the situation in a manner that is as effective as possible.

Much to the dismay of many managers, Attitude issues usually far outweigh Aptitude issues. Try this experiment:

• Think about your employees and the colleagues around you.
• Take a minute and make a list of the types of things that they spend the majority of their time struggling with.
• Examine the list.
• How many things on the list have to do with Aptitude—not having the skills and abilities to do the tactical aspect of their jobs?
• How many have to do with motivation, frustration, energy, focus, confidence, interpersonal issues, that is, the intangible things that have nothing to do with the actual skill of completing the job at hand (the “Attitude” part of the Success Equation)?

Usually, the majority of items on such a list involve Attitude—the keystone in the Success Equation that affects the Level of Success in exponential ways. If managers want their employees to be effective, they need to be able to help them deal with all of the things that are in the Attitude grouping from the exercise above. Coaching is about providing the support and guidance necessary to do just that.

Again, our definition of a coach is someone who helps another person reach higher levels of effectiveness by creating a dialogue that leads to awareness and action. Sounds good, huh? But what does it really mean and how does that help develop employees in the situations identified above? Let’s break it down. 

• Dialogue. A dialogue is a conversation in which both parties are seeking understanding. They are not trying to prove, teach, or motivate each other to do something. Coaching is a conversation in which the coach attempts to understand, and, thereby, helps the coachee to understand, what and how it is that the coachee is blocking his own success. A coach “creates” this dialogue by using skills such as listening, asking, and others outlined in chapter 3, and by focusing on helping the other person.
• Helpful. There has to be a genuine concern for the coachee on the part of the coach. To be effective, a manager has to really want to see the employee succeed, and he must hold the belief that his own success is connected to the success of the employee. A certain level of trust must exist and the coach cannot be in a situation whereby he is trying to “fix it.” This is tough. For the most part, managers are where they are in life because they are good at fixing things. They are so used to fixing problems, that they often don’t put themselves in the role of helping other people fix it for themselves.
• Awareness. The reason that a coach or manager does not try to “fix it” when he is coaching is because people learn more when they figure things out for themselves, especially when they are learning about how their Attitude is hindering their level of success. People learn more when they can be involved in their own teaching, and they are much more likely to take action on that teaching and apply it again in other situations if they have discovered it for themselves.
• Action. At the end of a coaching dialogue, there is action of some sort. The coachee will do something differently, shift the direction of a goal, or try a new approach to his situation. Without action, the dialogue is just a nice conversation between an employee and a concerned manager, not coaching.
• Higher Level of Effectiveness. The goal of the entire coaching process is to lead to higher levels of effectiveness. This is important to keep in mind, because coaching is not a quick-hit tool. It takes time, has a laid-back pace, and usually requires a manager to stop what he is doing and focus completely on the employee and the coaching situation. The good news to all of this is that when done correctly and in the right situation, coaching works to make the job of the manager easier because it develops employees who are learning and looking for new and better ways of doing their jobs and meeting company objectives in a timelier manner.

So, coaching is helping another person reach higher levels of effectiveness by creating a dialogue that leads to awareness and action. Said differently, coaching is a two-way conversation in which a manager asks questions and provides support in a way that enables an employee to understand how they can make changes to be more effective for themselves, their manager, and their organization.

July 13, 2010

Coaching is just one tool that a manager must use to be successful. Used in the right situation at the right time, coaching can make the life of a manager immensely easier. Conversely, a manager will end up extremely frustrated if they try to coach employees who need something else from their manager, whose situations do not call for coaching, or who flat out don’t want to be coached. Learning how to recognize when and when not to coach is just as important as learning how to coach.

Coaching is a dialogue that leads to Awareness and Action. When an employee has the skills and ability to complete the task at hand, but for some reason is struggling with the confidence, focus, motivation, drive, or bandwidth to be at their best, coaching can help. Employees typically struggle because one of three things is in their way:

1. Skills and Abilities—They currently lack the skill or ability to complete the task at hand; this relates to Aptitude.

2. Themselves—They currently lack the motivation, focus, chutzpah, confidence, or commitment to complete the task at hand; this relates to Attitude

3. Outside Factors—They currently are being affected by things that are largely outside their control, such as not having the Available Resources, changing market conditions, ineffective vendors and partners (internal and external), or poor relationships with various stakeholders and colleagues.

If an employee needs to develop specific skills and abilities, coaching is not the answer. You don’t teach someone how to create a budget for the first time by asking him curious questions in an unattached manner! You teach someone a new skill by giving him the proper instructions for that particular task. If you tried to coach him, you would end up driving yourself crazy and your employee out the door. To that end, when determining whether coaching is the right tool to use in a certain situation, first ask yourself this question:

• Is this about Aptitude? Is there a lack of skills or ability getting in the way of the employee’s success?

 If the answer is “yes,” then your answer to whether or not this is a coaching situation is “no.”

 If, in fact, the answer to the first question is “no” or “not really,” next ask yourself: 

• Is this about Attitude—his confidence, commitment, enthusiasm, focus, chutzpah, frustration?

If the answer is “yes,” then you have a situation that is primed for coaching. You will want to create a dialogue that helps the employee become aware of what they are doing and then help them develop an alternative action that will lead to better results—in short, coach them.

If the answer to the second question is “no,” then most likely the answer to the next, and final, question is “yes.” 

• Is this is about an outside factor getting in the way of success (i.e., lack of Available Resources, changing market conditions, poor relations with another stakeholder(s), or lack of direction or support from me)?

If the answer to this question is “no,” you need to reevaluate the answers to all three questions because, chanc are, you’ve missed something along the way. If the answer is “yes,” you have two more questions to ask yourself: 

• Does the employee have the skills and abilities to effectively deal with the outside factors in order to be successful?
• Does the employee have difficulty dealing effectively with the outside factors despite having the skills?

The answers to these questions will lead you down the same path as before. If the employee needs skills, teach him, but be sure to do it while utilizing coaching skills such as concern and listening. If he needs help with his attitude, coach him, but be prepared to offer suggestions and teaching tips along the way—dealing with outside factors can be tricky and there may be some skills you can teach as you go.

June 24, 2010

Former president Ronald Reagan once had an aunt who took him to a cobbler for a pair of new shoes. The cobbler asked young Reagan, “Do you want square toes or round toes?” Unable to decide, Reagan didn’t answer, so the cobbler gave him a few days. Several days later the cobbler saw Reagan on the street and asked him again what kind of toes he wanted on his shoes. Reagan still couldn’t decide, so the shoemaker replied, “Well, come by in a couple of days. Your shoes will be ready.” When the future president did so, he found one square-toed and one round-toed shoe! “This will teach you to never let people make decisions for you,” the cobbler said to his indecisive customer. “I learned right then and there,” Reagan said later, “if you don’t make your own decisions, someone else will.” 

From:  Today in the Word, MBI, August, 1991, p. 16.

April 27, 2010

I am holding a public workshop on “Competency-Based Behavioural Interview at the Evergreen Laurel Hotel, Penang from May 19-20, 2010. For more details, will you please contact me at: ckkhoo@kairospl.com?

Below is an article by Martin Haworth (business and management coach) on Competency-Based Behavioural Interviewing:

A common type of job interview nowadays is the behavioral interview or behavioral event interview. This type of interview is also referred to as a ‘competency based interview’ and is based on the assumption that a job candidate’s previous behaviors at work are the best indicators of future performance. In behavioral interviews, the interviewer asks candidates to recall specific instances where the candidate was faced with a set of circumstances, and asks them to describe how they reacted.

Some typical behavioral interview questions that you might expect to hear: 

• “Tell me about a project you worked on where the requirements changed half way through. What did you do to keep on track?”
• “Tell me about a specific instance when you took the lead role on a project. What did you do?”
• “Describe the worst project you worked on and how you maintained your discipline.”
• “Describe a time you had to work with someone you didn’t get on with.”
• “Tell me about a time when you had to make an unpopular decision, and how you managed to make it work.”
• “Give us an example of something you have done that made an improvement in the workplace.”
• “What happened the last time you were late meeting a deadline?”

Because a bad hiring decision can be extremely expensive for any business in terms of having to re-hire, wasted training costs and the effects on other employees, selection techniques of this nature, using a behavioral interview have a better track record of identifying the best candidate than the traditional interview everyone is familiar with.

Competency based interviews are the same as a behavioral interview and are intended to get the best from you, the candidate, whilst also fulfilling the needs of the organisation to get the very best person for the job. There are some easy steps to make the most of yourself and have a much better chance of success. 

• Prepare well, but keep it sensible
  As long as you know the job you are going for, ask for details of what you will be measured against. Ask for a set of competencies. Ask for a job description. This sets you up to succeed, not just because you are better informed, but also because you have asked – which will impress the decision-makers, before you even get there!
• Get Creative
  Here is the time to use your own experiences to create ‘stories’ which you can use in the actual interview. These ‘stories’ are real scenarios that you have been a part of, which over a period of days and weeks beforehand, you write up. Maybe you will have 20+ initial ideas.
• Leverage!
  Take the very best scenarios and write them out, bullet points first. Then flesh them out, whilst referring carefully to the competencies you’ve been given. It is amazing how you can ‘tune-in’ your scenario to include many, if not all of the competencies. And if you can’t fit them all in, there will be a use for them – later!
• Practice
  By reading through your scenarios (and by now you should not have more than six or seven) you will familiarise yourself with the contents, so well, that they will become second nature – even in the scary experience of a behavioral interview.
• In the InterviewThere are some tactics in here too!
  • Using your scenarios make just three key points about what you’ve been asked. Make them relevant and the right ‘weight’. Not too long or too short.
  • After that, leave space for them to ask more – that’s what they are listening for.
  • Say ‘I’ a lot – they want to know what your personal involvement and experience was, not ‘the team’ or ‘they’.
  • Have fun – whilst not contrived, smile and make some simple jokes, if you feel comfortable with that – they want to employ happy as well as capable people.
  • Can’t answer? That’s fine. Make sure that you reflect on your shortcomings by saying things like, ‘It’s one of the first things I want to develop in my next job – if you did your stuff on your scenarios and your competencies well enough, you will have covered 90% of the bases well and you’ll be forgiven for not being ‘perfect’. If you are really stumped – say so!
  • Ask questions – relevant, about their culture, focus on developing you, opportunities – the positive ‘peopley’ things (remember it’s your chance to see if you want to work with them!).
  • Also ask about current issues they may be facing – you did do your homework on them, didn’t you?
• Strong Ending!
  Keep the whole thing light, even as you leave at the end. Have a conversation in general terms – about anything! Do make sure that you ask them some things that are about them – they will love it if you ask them some open (what, how, when, where, who) general questions about your new job! About something nice in the building or their clothes – take as it comes and do what feels comfortable!

Remember that competencies are there to help you and they provide a guide-map for your competency based interview success!

April 05, 2010

Wisdom has a lot to do with avoiding decisions that look attractive, but will turn out badly. If you have been out late at a party and on the way home your friend says, “I know where we can still get one more drink!” well, that sure sounds attractive but the wise decision is to refrain.

Dr. Sydney Finkelstein, lead author of Think Again: Why good leaders make bad decisions and how to keep it from happening to you is interested in how we can figure out which decisions are at risk of being the really bad ones. If we understand the psychological processes that guide decision making, and look at real examples of where decisions have gone bad, then we can identify red flags to watch for. These red flags are the banners of wisdom.

How Humans Make Decisions

As we get into the topic of decision making we once again have to kill off the rational choice model beloved by economists. Wise management thinkers like Henry Mintzberg, James March and Karl Weick have long argued that the rational choice model doesn’t reflect reality. It’s important to understand the major mechanisms that underlie real decision making.

Finkelstein explains, “We don’t list a bunch of alternatives, identify the pros and cons, weight them and then identify the best ones. That hardly ever happens in real life. What we do is make one plan at a time – usually without discussion, perhaps even without conscious awareness that we are making a decision. We just take the first reasonable option and do it until it clearly isn’t working”

“If a marketing manager has to place ads in some media, she might well just place internet banner ads because that is what she did last time and it worked well, or she read something about it and it seemed reasonable, or it she felt it was the cool thing to do,” says Finkelstein. “She’ll keep doing it until it clearly is not working.”

Young and not yet wise MBAs critique this kind of ‘irrational’ behaviour but humans operate the way we do for a reason.

“We can’t take forever to make decisions,” says Finkelstein, “Imagine if we had to debate the pros and cons of everything. The one plan at a time model works pretty well—at least it does most of time.”

It’s that last phrase “most of the time” that chills the blood because just one really big mistake can be enough to kill a company.

“There’s another thing I want you to understand about the brain,” Finkelstein continues. “Anytime we do anything we file it away and it’s tagged with a memory of success or failure. I call it emotional tagging. When faced with a situation we almost always without thinking make our decision based on those emotional tags.”

Again this makes sense, of course we’ll do what worked for us in the past: it’s the “without thinking” part that you need to watch out for.

“If you look at RBS (the Royal Bank of Scotland)—which is such a disaster that they may be taken over by the British government—their really bad decision was the acquisition of ABN Amro. RBS had made previous acquisitions which had gone well and had got accolades in the press for their great work. So they went out of their way to repeat that experience and chased down the ABN Amro acquisition without proper caution.”

If only RBS had noted some kind of red flag which warned them that their decision making process was at risk of making a serious error then they might has escaped their nasty fate.

(to be continued)

Source: David Creelman

NOTE: Why not attend the “Managing & Making Decisions” workshop to be held from April 28-29, 2010 at the G-Hotel, Penang to learn more? You can download the brochure from this website.

March 16, 2010

Knowing how to manage your boss without committing career suicide is essential in your organization.

Jean Kelly suggests the following:

No matter where you work, you report to someone—maybe even to two or three bosses. Whether you think your boss is brilliant or a bore, the fact is that you have to manage the relationship with your boss if you want to advance your career.

Realize that you are more dependent on your boss than your boss is on you, because your boss holds the key to your short-term future. Not only can your boss release you at any time, especially in today’s economy, but your boss can also unconsciously ostracize you by not keeping you in the communication loop and by giving all the desirable projects to others. When your boss senses that communication between the two of you is not going well and situations have not been resolved, he or she will simply go work with your co-workers rather than you.

Therefore, if you don’t manage the relationship with your boss, you won’t last long in your particular position—either you’ll get fired or you’ll quit. Granted, if you work for a large company, you might be able to transfer to a different boss; but even then, if you still don’t know how to manage a boss, you could end up repeating the same scenario with your new supervisor.

So before you let a little mismanagement on your part disrupt your career, take some time to learn the keys of ‘boss management.’ The following suggestions will get you started on the right path and contribute to a more harmonious work day.

Find out from your boss what ‘good’ looks like and all who are involved in measuring ‘good.’

Whether you report to one person or four different bosses, you need to make sure you’re meeting everyone’s expectations. After all, what seems good to you may only be mediocre to your boss. Therefore, find out what ‘good’ looks like to each boss you report to. You could simply ask, ‘What does ‘good’ look like on this project?’ Or, ‘If this went exactly like you wanted it to go and it turned out perfect, what would have to happen between now and that time?’ As an added benefit, you might even get an idea of the scope of how big that project really is. Sometimes bosses don’t tell you much and you have to pull it out of them. If you do this simple step upfront and find out what the expectations are on the project and the timelines, you save a lot of time in the end.

Ask your boss what kind of follow up he or she wants and what your boss has to have for his or her comfort level.

Many times bosses expect people to be mind readers, simply because they’re busy and can’t always go over all the details of a project. As such, your boss might forget to tell you such things as a firm deadline or a required step. And since everyone operates from their own set of realities, the possibility of miscommunication is high. That’s why you need to take the initiative to set expectations for every project your boss assigns you. You need to find out: ‘What is the deadline? What are my resources? What checkpoints or milestones do we want to establish, if any? What step or contact person is absolutely critical to this project?’

Just as you set expectations when dealing with clients and co-workers, you need to manage the relationship and set expectations with your boss every time.

Examine your boss’ style and adjust to that style.

 Peter Drucker said there are two key leadership styles: readers and listeners. Which is your boss? The readers want data before you talk with them. The listeners want to talk before they read. For example, a CEO has a controller who is good with the numbers. He gives his boss elaborate and spectacular reports…but that’s not what she wants. Every time he gives her a report, she pushes the report aside and starts talking with him. She’s not a reader; she’s a listener. All she wants to know is the bottom line: ‘Are we in trouble or not?’ So this controller is spending precious time producing materials his boss doesn’t want. Conversely, if your boss is a reader, you’re not going to get a good decision from that person in a quick hallway conversation. Readers can’t make fast decisions on complex issues without data. So unless it’s an easy question, they need to think things over and analyze them. And while there are many personality types in the workplace, if you can make this one distinction between the readers and the listeners, you’ll go far with managing your boss.

Muster up the courage to tell your boss when you feel you haven’t been fully heard.
Communication has to go both ways for success. If your boss upsets you or misunderstands you, you have to speak up1not from the head, but from the heart. One way to do that is with an ‘I’ message. For example, ‘I was really upset and hurt by what you said. I interpreted it as __________. Did you mean it that way?’ Most people want to be heard, yet most don’t get heard by their boss. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to say when you’re not feeling heard. If you’re leery of speaking up to your boss, first try this approach on your family members. Practice it in a safe environment before trying it on your boss.

Become aware of other managers’ styles, especially when they have a stake in the outcome of your project.

Keeping up with the expectations and styles of multiple bosses can be a fine balancing act. The only way to wade through it all is if you can keep in mind the one thing that matters most to each of the stakeholders you have to please. It’s too overwhelming to have five stakeholders and think through five requirements for each. So either ask each person what is most important to him/her, or figure out what you have observed in each person’s behavior that you can attend to.

Manage Up

The good news is that no matter how well or poorly you have managed your boss’s relationship in the past, you can recraft your relationship on every new project. Ideally, you want to create a relationship where talking from the heart is the norm, as then confrontation on serious issues won’t be difficult. In the end, it’s really about understanding your boss. When you teach your boss how to work with you and hone great communication skills with him or her, your work life will be happier and much more productive. 

February 18, 2010

People become defensive whenever feedback is given. This is because it is not given in the right way. David Lee provides some guidelines for giving feedback below:

So many managers tell me that providing constructive feedback—or at least feedback they hope will be perceived as constructive—is one of their biggest challenges. All too often they avoid giving it, because they know it’s going to be awkward and could possibly make matters worse.

The effects of ineffective feedback
When a manager attempts to give constructive feedback, but does it ineffectively, the employee may:

• Feel misunderstood—and therefore hurt and resentful
• Feel put down and disrespected
• Believe that all the good things he does aren’t noticed or appreciated
• Conclude the boss doesn’t know what he’s talking about
• Not understand exactly what is expected of him and so may continue to make the same mistakes
• Lose his motivation and become less likely to go the extra mile when necessary

How to avoid giving ineffective feedback
The ability to give truly valuable feedback depends not only upon knowing what to do but also what NOT to do.

DO NOT:

 1. Sugarcoat negative feedback. When you’re overly concerned about triggering a negative response, it’s natural to try to sugarcoat negative feedback. The result? The employee doesn’t really understand what you’re trying to say or the seriousness of the situation.

2. Back down if the employee becomes upset. While taking a time-out might be the best response when a person truly becomes unglued, revising your assessment downward or deciding “it’s not worth it” are never appropriate responses.

3. Avoid the conversation until you’ve “had it up to here.” When you wait until you are in a frustrated, take-no-prisoners state, not much good is going to come out of the conversation. The employee will likely feel attacked and will become defensive.

4. Use an overly formal or forceful opening. Managers often do this as a way to let the person know they mean business and/or to reduce the odds that the employee will “fight back.” While a formal, all-business demeanor is appropriate for very serious matters, it’s not necessary in many situations. Most people appreciate a more low-key approach that communicates, “We’re two adults here” instead of a “You are about to be scolded by the principal” tone that tends to trigger defensiveness.

5. “Control the airwaves.” Some managers present a monologue instead of encouraging a dialogue, believing this approach will prevent the employee from disagreeing or making excuses. In reality, the manager will trigger resentment and resistance in the employee.

6. State what you’re unhappy about without offering a clear picture of what you want. This approach doesn’t let the employee know what he needs to do to succeed, which leaves him feeling impotent.

7. Present an action plan without first getting agreement about the problem. A plan is meaningless unless the person understands what the issue is, what needs to be changed and why.

8. Give positive feedback without specifics. (e.g. “You’re awesome!”; “You do such a great job!”). This is especially counterproductive for people with personality styles that value data, precision, and detail. These people also tend to dislike flamboyant or emotional language. When they hear undefined and unspecified praise, they question the praise giver’s sincerity and knowledge about what they’re praising.

9. Mistake valid reasons for excuses. Some bosses are so worried about being taken advantage of that they’re unable to recognize valid reasons and extenuating circumstances. To them, everything other than a “You’re right, boss” agreement seems like an excuse. When employees feel that their legitimate points are seen as excuses, they shut out the accuser and become resentful.

10. Wait for annual performance review time to give feedback. This is a great way to spark confused “What are you talking about?” resentment-packed conversations. To be effective, feedback must be ongoing, addressing problems as they arise.

11. Use vague judgments without specific examples. Concepts like “more of a team player,” “more service oriented,” and “more professional” mean nothing. Labels without examples leave people feeling helpless about making changes because they don’t know what specifically you’re unhappy about or what you want.

12. Deliver a long preamble before giving the negative feedback. This just builds suspense for what they know is coming: the negative feedback. (“I really appreciate what a team player you are and I really love your attention to detail and I think you’re doing a great job with …. BUT…”).

13. Use blunt, provocative, or shaming language to make a point. There is no reason to resort to language like: “I would think that would be a no-brainer…”;  “That train has left the station, so let’s move on, huh?” and so forth. 

14. Pretend to agree and then disagree. “I can see why you feel that way, but…” There’s a difference between honestly acknowledging the other person’s viewpoint and just pretending to agree as a way to soften them up for your opposing point of view. You can acknowledge that you understand their perspective even if you don’t agree with it.

15. Wing it. Few things spark resentment or diminished respect for the critic than the feeling that one is being judged before the critic has thought through the possible angles and has gotten all the facts.

16. Tell someone what’s going on inside his head. You’re a manager, not a psychiatrist. If you have a good relationship with the employee, it’s fine to ask her if your guess about what’s going on is accurate; just don’t imply you know what’s going on inside her head—that’s presumptuous.

17. Use a “one size fits all” approach to praise. Our natural tendency is to praise people the way we like to be praised, but that only works for people who are like us. What works for some personality types doesn’t work for others.

18. Give feedback only when there is a problem. Gallup’s research reveals that 65% of employees say they did not receive any recognition in the previous year. Since positive feedback is a huge motivator, neglecting to give it is a huge mistake. If the only time you give feedback is to say something negative, your employees will automatically respond defensively the moment you try to give them feedback—not the ideal condition for a constructive conversation.

19. Use sarcasm to makec a point. Some humor—used judiciously—can lighten the tone and help diminish the sense of power differential that causes so much awkwardness when a boss gives a subordinate corrective feedback. That’s very different from using sarcasm or “just joking” comments to make a point, that is, “Oh, are you on the 8:23 a.m. to 4 p.m. shift now?”

Now…how about some constructive feedback for you?
If you’re serious about improving your feedback skills, give this article to your team members. Ask them to check off any “Don’ts” that you’ve made regarding providing feedback. It could be an eye opener.

By following up and asking for feedback about your performance, you:

• Get a reality check
• Show your employees you really do care about them
• Let your employees know that what their input is important to you
• Show you’re humble enough to hear feedback
• Increase the odds that people will accept your feedback
• Create a more engaged and motivated team

OK, now go get and give that feedback!

February 01, 2010

Have you wondered why your boss does not listen to you? Here is an article by Steve Tobak to give you the 10 tips:

Most leaders, managers, entrepreneurs, and overachieving types in general, have one thing in common: They think they’re right most of the time. We can spend forever trying to figure out why that is, but for now, just assume it comes with the territory.

Anyway, when I was a young manager, there were countless times when my boss didn’t listen to me. Can you believe that? Well, you know what? Getting snubbed by my boss or, even worse, a top executive or CEO, was a real demotivator. I suspect it’s especially true for overachievers – like me (and you) – who take their ideas, job, and the company’s success very seriously.

Well, a lot of years have passed since then, and I’ve spent a good many years on the other side of the fence. And since I’ve got a unique perspective on the subject, I thought I’d share a few secrets: Why the boss doesn’t always listen to you or your ideas, why he sometimes shouldn’t, and why sometimes he should but doesn’t. Here are 10 scenarios from my own experience: 

1. Low priority. Your ideas, while good, aren’t a priority. Every executive and manager has x things that are critical and even more things that are important but non-critical. Everything else, in all likelihood, falls in the crack.  
2. Bad leadership. Frankly, most senior managers aren’t strong enough leaders to know how important it is to take the time to hear a middle manager’s views and share
3. Narrow view. What might seem important to you may not be important or such a good idea one or two levels up. The higher up you go, the more important it is to see the big picture. 
4. Dumb idea. It’s such a naïve or otherwise idiotic idea that he doesn’t know where to begin to explain it so he just nods politely and waits for you to go away.
5. Bad timing. Sometimes there’s some really hairy stuff going on – finance issues, a merger or acquisition, a major product or customer issue, or even something personal – and she’s distracted or can’t be bothered. 
6. Politics. Oftentimes the answer is an ugly truth that some executives don’t want to admit to you or, worse still, don’t even want to think about themselves. Corporate politics is real.
7. You’re intimidating. Or you’re inflexible and never back down. This happens a lot, believe it or not. Just because he’s the boss, doesn’t make you any less of a pain in the butt.
8. Dysfunctional management. Your boss and/or the entire management team is dysfunctional. I use this as a big ole bucket of scenarios, but some management teams just don’t know how to function right.
9. Not in her job description. That’s right; in all likelihood, her annual compensation plan doesn’t have a line item that reads, “Listen to Bob.”
10. He did listen. You just don’t know it. Sometimes your boss considers it or sends it up the flagpole, and for whatever reason, it doesn’t fly. And getting back to you fell in the crack or he doesn’t want to admit defeat.  

So, the next time your boss doesn’t listen to you, try to get a little perspective and, above all, don’t take it personally. And if you are “the boss,” investing time by explaining your views can go a long way toward inspiring a young up-and-comer.

January 25, 2010

When solving problems it is also tempting to jump to cause without analyzing the problem. Here is an article by William A. Salmon to help you to analyze problems and solve them:

When you are reacting to a problem that already exists, first ask yourself the following questions to help you determine the best approach to take:

1. What will your role be in the problem solving process? Will you make the final decision or contribute input to others who will? Do you need or want to involve your employees in the process?

2. How urgent is the problem? How much time do you have to solve it? How much time do you have to work on a solution?

3. How much money or other resources can you afford to spend on a solution? What are your budget constraints or financial restrictions?

4. How will you evaluate the quality of possible solutions? What information do you need to help you establish criteria and give them an accurate weighting or significance?

5. Do you want to involve others in the problem-solving process? Consider whether you want your manager, coworkers, employees or customers to participate in the process, take accountability for the problem and share ownership of the solution. Once you have answered these questions and weighed all the factors affecting how you plan to proceed, take the following action steps to analyze the problem and develop a well-informed solution:

STEP #1: State the problem as specifically as possible. Ask yourself questions like: What has gone wrong? How serious is it? When and where did the problem begin? Be as exact and precise as you can so that others have a clear understanding of the nature, scope and significance of the problem.

STEP #2: Determine the overall kind of information you need to define the real problem. Identify the most obvious and important symptoms, causes and effects of the problem you are trying to solve. Select the best way to collect the information you need to proceed. Some popular data collection methods include survey questionnaires, one-on-one interviews, work sampling, time-and-motion studies, check sheets, observations and focus groups.

STEP #3: Collect the data you need. Discuss and document individual views, proven facts and relevant symptoms until everyone involved agrees that there is a problem. Determine possible causes by looking for changes. Determine what factors are different now from the way things were before the problem occurred.

STEP #4: Analyze the data for patterns or trends. Examine each possible cause independently and pick those that are most likely to be responsible for the current situation.

STEP #5: Document your analysis in an understandable form and present it to those involved or to those in a position to help solve the problem. Discuss your conclusions and any implications.

STEP #6: Identify ways to deal with the major causes of the problem or to minimize the effects the problem is creating.

STEP #7: Develop a specific action plan with clear deadlines and responsibilities.

STEP #8: Test and monitor the action plan. If it seems effective, implement the plan. If it needs adjustment, revise the plan and then implement it.